I have struggled with getting angry with my children for ridiculous things like jumping on my bed, and thereby knocking over the freshly folded clothes. I have yelled at my precious munchkins and have expected them to not act like kids on many occasions.
Why am I telling you this? Because it is heavy on my heart. Many mothers try to be the ‘perfect mom’, either from some personal idea or pressure from others.
1) There’s no such thing as a perfect mom – We all mess up. Why? We’re human. That’s not an excuse, just a fact.
2) Don’t measure your standing as a good mother by what you see on Facebook – This goes two ways. We can’t look at some moms and say, “Hey, at least I’m doing a better job than she is.” On the other side, we can’t say of our friend the super-mom, “She has everything together. I’ll never be as good a mom as she is.” Let me let you in on a little secret: you’re only seeing glimpses of those mom’s lives. Maybe she’s having a bad day and needs to vent or needs support. That mom that does crafts with her kiddos and has all her laundry done, the rest of the house is a mess. I almost quit Facebook at one point because I was comparing myself to my friends. Though after talking with them, they graciously shared the whole picture.
3) Our kids are watching us – These beautiful little human-sponges watch EVERYTHING we do. I’m sure you’ll all know the feeling of just wanting to go to the loo alone, only to see a little hand creep under the door. :) My daughter is the first one to correct me when I’ve messed up. It hurts my pride and my heart, but it also brings me to repentance. This is a good side to not being perfect (as much as I would like to be). Our children can’t watch us be repentant if we never humble ourselves in their sight. Though I wish I didn’t mess up, it does present me with the opportunity to ask for forgiveness from Jesus and my daughter, and to ask for help to not have a repeat. I am able to show my kids how to do this rather than just tell them that it’s something good to do. The love that flows from children after a parent asks for forgiveness is amazing.
Should we desire to be better parents, Christians, people? Absolutely! But we don’t need to beat ourselves up emotionally because we make mistakes. Once you notice problem you have, don’t sit there and hope for it to go away; pray, read verses about the problem, seek accountability. Here are some great, encouraging verses. An accountability partner can be found in your spouse, best friend, mom, co-worker, etc. Someone who shares your same faith and that you see, or talk to, on a regular basis.
Note to everyone else: Please don’t expect the moms around you to be perfect, or their kids either. No one can be the perfect mom, husband, child, etc. because no one is a perfect person.
Our first role in life is to be a servant of God, everything else comes after that. When our relationship with God is where it should be, everything else follows. We are not perfect, but every day is a lesson learned. “Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.” (Philippians 1:6)